Schrodinger's Cat

One of the most entertaining things to think about is this: it’s what Jeffrey Schwartz calls the causal effectiveness of volition. It is the idea that consciousness, or volition, or free will has a hand in causing the very fabric of reality to come into being. Jeffrey Schwartz, who is a neurologist, showed how volition is what wires the brain. And volition can rewire the brain at any moment. In fact, the brain is very finely attuned to volition. This idea of volition can also be thought of as will or attention or consciousness. I think all of those words just talk about the life force.

That reality condenses into a state because of attention (or awareness) is something that quantum mechanics brought to light. But people have had a very hard time understanding that. I don’t know how much math you’ve had, but reality, before attention, is a superposition of eigenstates. That means it doesn’t really exist. It’s just a cloud of possibilities. When someone becomes aware of it that cause the one of the eigenstates to become real and all of the others vanish.

There was a thought experiment dreamt up by Irwin Schrodinger in the very beginning of quantum mechanics which I'm sure that you have heard of. The point of the experiment is to illustrate the problem with how attention and reality interact.

One can even set up quite ridiculous cases. A cat is penned up in a steel chamber, along with the following diabolical device (which must be secured against direct interference by the cat): in a Geiger counter there is a tiny bit of radioactive substance, so small that perhaps in the course of one hour one of the atoms decays, but also, with equal probability, perhaps none; if it happens, the counter tube discharges and through a relay releases a hammer which shatters a small flask of hydrocyanic acid.

If one has left this entire system to itself for an hour, one would say that the cat still lives if meanwhile no atom has decayed. The first atomic decay would have poisoned it. The Psi function for the entire system would express this by having in it the living and the dead cat (pardon the expression) mixed or smeared out in equal parts.

What's wrong with this thought experiment? Can you guess? It's a fascinating thought experiment because it touches exactly the most important thing: reality is superposition of possibilities until someone pays attention which causes it to collapse into being. Attention gives birth to reality.

But the thought experiment confuses something. Schrodinger understood that the cat must be either alive or dead. It couldn't possibly be both. But while he granted the cat the capacity of life, he denied it the capacity of attention. So a cat, according to Schrodinger can be alive, but it has no capacity to be aware. What does that mean?

The thing that Schrodinger missed is that attention is a capacity of any sentient being. A cat causes reality to come into existence the same way a human does. It's not human consciousness that cause the reality to condense it is consciousness, or life. You don't have to be human to cause reality, you just have to be alive.

That life is a kind of powerful magic is not a hard stretch for me. Life, it seems to me, is the ultimate magic in this world. I really don’t even know what life is, but I get that it’s something big. And the fact that it’s me just fills me with wave upon wave of mind bending joy.

Lust, Indifference and Hate

I picked up another book by the Dalai Lama.

The book is called How to Expand Love. I'm not overly impressed. It seems so very strained, so very labored. Like chill dude! Read some Hafiz.

However, the Dalai Lama did have some useful material. He says something about how you can't really love someone you feel lust for. My wife would probably disagree. She wants me to feel love and lust for her. I think the Dalai Lama lacks clarity on this point. He says lust is bad and interferes with Love, but he never says what lust is. Can I not feel lust for someone in a healthy, loving way?

Obviously the sinful state of hunger is gluttony. What is the appropriate and healthy state of lust? Is there such a thing?

But I do think that lust gets in my way. So there are some things I can do to curb it. I've been thinking of a plan. It's kind of like fasting to purify the body.

I'm not going to do this because of His Holiness the Dalia Lama. Nor even because of Der Fuhrer Pope. But just because I think I would like myself better if I had less lust.

Even if it was nothing more than a matter of etiquette.

I found this painting in a studio in Las Vegas. I like some of the art galleries in Las Vegas just because you can come across this type of art. This image is something akin to the way I feel. It captures something. I like it. The name of the Painting is:

Unpredictability of Retrospective Commitment



So what do you think?

Happy Hour

Spent the evening last night with work buddies. The PM took us all out for drinks and snacks. We all chatted. I sat at a table with Marieke, Prabha, Kamal, Ishita and Ming. I talked mostly with Prabha about India and Globalization.

Then Kamal and I went out.

Came home around midnight. Natalya was upset. She had been reading my diary. Again. I tell her not to do that, but she can't help herself. Then she gets so angry at me. But then we got cozy and she forgot all about it. We had a good time.

Today we had Pam's roll off lunch. She is going to a project in Austin. I will miss her. She was a joy to have around. And soon Prabha will be gone, too. :(

Symbolic Fairness

She moves like some Baskin Robbins dish; her long hair is like ice cream. The barriers that I remember are all still there... whispering to me all to which I'm forbidden. She seems so happy and she would love to cross the barrier that seperates us. Is this woman like Kabir? You know, can she just move in like Kabir did?

Somehow, her spirit moved in union her physicality.

I remember when I saw her naked and she was afraid that it was shameful. Then when she saw me by the lake, naked and hot, she smiled. She felt much better. It was OK. The way she looked at me, releived at the symbolic fairness of each of us knowing the other's nakedness. She likes the way we look at each other. Something mysterious. Would that we could, we would touch, make the distance short if only there was something more substantial than the thread of energy which, though powerful like a laser, is not enough to build upon. What does it lack?

Information and energy... but without structure.

Time is on our side. We will be together in paradise.

Let It Come Upon You

I didn't get much sleep last night. But I woke up early and worked all day and felt great. Thought about her much of day. Feel her more strongly now. I want to do more to be close to her.

I've been feeling more and more like I need to get more disciplined. I need to make the habits of my love more driven by soul. I don't really know what all of that means. But I know that I feel something better happening inside me and I just want more of it.

I especially like the way that I'm learning to stop the diagnosing and judging of myself and others. That, by itself, has given way to much freedom.

Now, I really want to do more with my own mind, my own consciousness. I’m at the point where I’m not going to be confused by the glitter of gold, the aching hungers of gluttony and lust, the baleful fires of jealousy, anger and hate.

So I feel like I don’t want to wait any more. I feel like I want the love to come upon me. So I pray to her. Come to me. Come to me with your radiant beauty. Come to me and be in my loneliness as I will be in yours.

Father's Day

We had a great Father's day. My dad came up from Laramie. We met at Mik's last night and had a bar-b-q. Kari was there. She brought Roy. And Gypsy was there. I liked Gypsy. I wanted to talk to her more. Andrea and Steve also showed up.

Mik's having a hard time. She feels very frustrated. She is overwhelmed by the babies. She needs help. I need to make sure that I can be there for her.

The girls each did an enormous amount of math today. Dasha finished up seven problem sets. Sasha finished up a huge number as well. I'm so proud of them both.

I watch the an interview today with the Author of The World is Flat. That was a very interesting interview. He is also the guy who wrote The Lexus and the I am not sure what I think about him. I probably agree with much of what he has to say.

Привет

Привет

Endless Delight

A warm, beautiful day. I accomplished a lot at work today. Worked through a lot of code. Worked with M. Enjoyed that. I left work close to 7. 16th Street was full of people. I could have hung out there for hours. But I had to hurry home. But it was very nice to see all of the people out there.

I chatted last night with E. That was very nice. I feel like there was never an opportunity for me to get to know her. And now, just in the past few weeks I have gotten to know more about her than I ever had. The internet is so cool.

Called AVD today. Left a message. Can't wait to see her again. I have so much to tell her. Her birthday is tomorrow. Happy Birthday!!!

Surprised by Beauty

Had a fantastic day at work. I solved some big problems and generally felt very good about the day. I strolled out of the Qwest building and felt great. All the beautiful women were on 16th street. I walked down the street, loving every minute, loving everybody and all of a sudden I saw her. Liz in downtown denver. I walked up to her and hugged her. That felt so good. I have missed her. I miss her like crazy. But holding her in my arms on such a beautiful day made all the difference. I love you, Liz!!! With all my heart!