Intelligent Documents

What if God were one of us.

Good morning my beautiful one. I trust that you are well. I did this Tarot reading for Anya. It was pretty good. I saw some interesting things. Ilya seems to impeded her. Some woman stands over her and prevents her. But in the past was the charitable giving. That is what gives her strength now. She is the four of cups. She rejects it. The nine of pentacles covers her. The 5 of cups crosses her. Beneath her is the Ace of Swords and in front of her is Justice. Surrounding influences were 9 of swords reversed. In friends and enemys there was a page of cups reversed and in hopes and fears the 10 of pentacles reversed. The outcome was the 10 of cups.

So I talked to her last night. I have started being the one to end the call. I like it better that way. In any case we talked for a long time. She told me about how she did not go out with other men because she did not want to make Ilya made. I told her that was terrible. That was like cutting of her leg so that she would not scratch Ilya's finger.

Do you know how I would feel if you fell in love with someone else. I would feel like someone had ripped out my heart and threw it on the ground while pouring hot acid into my eyes, and yet I would be so happy for you. That's really what counts. Who is happy for you when things are going right.

So Doug asked me to write something up and give it to Rich. God. I thought that I should do that anyway. So I guess that I'll work on that. That could be today's main priority. I could read and work on that. It kind of sounds like fun. When I get a list

Sometimes technologies that are weak, immature and clumsy and early adopters are rewarded.

I think that all you need to do is too look at Microsoft. What is Microsoft doing. Microsoft is who is going to loose out the most.

The fact that the question of whether to use MFC or Java exists is interesting.

Java can be part of a document. JavaScript can be part of a document. Director and Authorware productions can be part of a document. It terms of what can be done on the client side, we are very strong. We are not limited to Java. MFC is mature, reliable. MFC is old. This is a business where often times it is the young, unseasoned, unreliable and dangerous technology that carries the day. I think that I need to get a POP server. That is what I need to work on. I think that what I'll need to get is some info on that other stuff. What other stuff. Some more info on that server. Some more info on Domino. POP server.

Flexible. Fluid. It allows a different kind of architecture. It fosters it. I think that it becomes more of an architecture based on intelligent documents. The documents are quite at home on the net. The have intelligence and the ability to communicate. The whole idea behind CORBA was a document centered architecture. You simply place the pieces of functionality where you need them. That is all. That is a great idea. I can go with that. I can make that work.

So what am I trying to do? To just be seen? I don't want my life to be reduced to a series of that kind of game playing.

Olga called me yesterday when I was waiting for a call from Anya. It was fun to talk with her, but I was anxious to get back to Anya. That is too bad. I need more balance.

I read something about people falling in love with their therapists. Because they talk to them so much. Because the meetings are regular and the conversation is intimate. I wonder if we could have some of that happening here.

Right now my head is kind of sleepy. I did not get enough sleep. Writing such a thing makes me nervous. I can't seem to spell. I think that I need more sleep. Why did I wake up so early this morning. I hope that I will be able to work hard today. I worked hard yesterday. I was actually surprised with how much I got done. I will see about today. I need to spend some time writing. I need to get some of those ideas worked out.

Well, I have about 200 words left to write. I don't know, I should probably write more each day. Maybe 1500 words. That might be something to consider. I don't know how many is good. I think that I probably write more than three long hand pages.

Mikki only wanted $500. I don't get it. She said that she knew that I would always be there for her. It seems to me that on some level I knew that it wouldn't work out with her. That is why I chose Natasha. I chose her because I felt it was right at the time. Like now I choose another.

Some more thoughts about her. The X. The enslavement. What did we speak about yesterday. We talked about the stress she was having at work. I urged calmness. Do I need to be more receptive. I need to help her understand. She does need to just talk. Just to let someone hear her. Is there more to it than that? Of course additional information is good, but just to talk about it is good. That is kind of like sex. Just communicating. That is what keeps it all together.

I told her that I wanted to hear Yes. I heard her kind of say it. She couldn't come out and say it with all of her voice. She had to kind of push it out of one corner. And then cover it with a couple of no's. But she liked it. So I should finish that one. Each day I say that I will work on it and I never do. Why is that? I need to reorganize my day if that is going to be the case. I like having Ivan around. He does a lot. I don't know why he wanted to do all of that on Access. Just wanting to develop some skills I guess.

Intelligent Documents.
This really is the way things ought to be done. Documents are the life blood of so many processes that they really do need more intelligence. That is what I like about the web. The documents are intelligent.

Good Morning

Still in Love

Yes, I'm still in love. I am so happy. Somehow it is quite strange. I don't know that it was all that good when we made love. I am happy that we did it. I hope to be able to do it again. I was thinking about how many times I have actually committed this act. I suppose only two, in reality. Although there was something about the third. I do need to call Olga. Well I don't know. What about Anna. Shall I think some more about her. Or should I think more about that dream I had the night before last. There were two girls. One on the bed and one off. I was trying to kiss the girl on the bed and the response wasn't so good. So I turned my attention to the girl on the floor and, although we did not kiss, there was something quite alive.

Good Morning. I woke up this morning thinking about you. Thinking about how much I love you. Thinking about how angelic you are. All kinds of images of you. And the sound of you voice. The scent of your breath. It was all there wrapped in my waking up. I don't remember my dreams but I sure did feel good this morning.

That being done, I can go on now to complete the rest of my thinking. The rest of my thinking being what. I was reading that book, "care of the soul" and really liking it. The thoughts about being so open to the universe and so open to love. The figure of Beatrice. To think about these things and to live them. What a Joy. The Knights of the Divine Sophia. Again this feeling of mythology enters into my being. All of this is somehow brought by Anna. She brings it all to me. She makes me feel it. So write. That is what I will do. I could write some more Yes stuff. I want yes from those little sneezes. I want yes in the way you stood there with your pants open and unzipped. I want you to say yes to me. I want you to say yes with 100% of your soul. So, what I need is to get a nice back ground for my picture. I wish that I had time to do a rendering. Perhaps I do. I could do some research and find some imagery about the wedding. Wedding Imagery. The mingling of man and woman. The spiritual nature of my life. What about Natasha. I like her. That is right. But she wants me to be in a cage. I won't be in that cage. When she looks away a fade. I reappear far away, in another state, another time with another woman. When she looks back I reappear. She sense the discontinuity, but can do nothing to prove it. Is that strong form of Judgement, that fundamentalism, a kind of denial. I think that it must be. Too much power in judgement makes those things hide from sight, but doesn't make them go away. Like insects who want to survive. All of these things. I do them because of you. I think about all of the things that I have done because of you. I have felt so much because of you. What about Heidi. That worked out so bad. Basically she did not trust me. I was so in love. Did I do something fundamentally wrong. I remember how she was talking about her feelings for Mike. I was convinced that her feelings were actually for me. It was at that time she was pushing me away. I remember that. I remember that quite clearly. What was it about that that made me go so intense. I really enjoyed that intensity. I really felt good about it. It made me feel like a million dollars. After reading that book, I begin to understand. I need to write to Wendy today. I need to get her an address. The next thing I need to do is to increase the communication with her. That is something I would really like to do.

That thing called Work

So what about work? I was going to have something written by today. I don't have it. I spent much too much time doing other things. I need to do some things about the stuff I need to get fixed. So what kinds of things do I need to take care of. I need to support that job ticket. How do I want to support it? Also what I want to do is to get something together for DR. I need to increase the productivity of that relationship. Write something that oozes respect. Something that speaks of my own self and something that reflects my love for Anna. I'm in love with Anna. I am happy that I have never felt enough pain to shut me down.

Open your heart to true love. Open your heart to true love. Open your heart to true love. Open your heart to true love. Open your heart to true love.

So I explore this terrain. Shall we go to Disney land. We need not go to Hawaii. We need not go Skiing. We need some place warm and tropical. I need to call the travel agency. Vacations. That is what I need. I think that I'm going to another trade show. Sometime in February.

So trust is important. I want to write something that states ever so clearly what we should do. I also need to call Alan Hlava and find out what he has written in Java. That is important. What we can do is to do what we must. That is right. Das is recht.

So each word is its own. That is good to know. I am happy. I suppose that she already got my message. I don't really know what I would do. I think that I would take a lot of thinking and plan my way quite clearly. Then I would just do it.